Quotes from Guns not Butter

Bartlet: It's the curse of every daughter's father.
Charlie: Boyfriends?
Bartlet: I don't like them. I don't like them at all.
Charlie: Yes, I know, sir.
Bartlet: What the hell happened with you two? It was perfect. I just kept you in the office all the time.
Charlie: Well, she was unhappy that I was at the office all the time.
Bartlet: That was the point. If I was trying to make her happy I'd buy her a Cabriolet.

Bartlet: Is there a cow on my schedule today?

Josh: I lose this vote, I'm resigning.

Josh: I hate that clock.

C.J.: We're not responding to a blind quote, we just assume you made it up.

Bartlet: America is gonna lead the world, not just bully it.

Bartlet: My daughter's dating a kid who's better looking than my wife.

Bartlet: I'm sorry, but once again, there's a cow?

Bartlet: Turn around casually and tell me if Le Viscount de Valvert's got his hands near anyone who's related to me.
C.J.: That is a good-looking young man.
Bartlet: Zoey!
Zoey: I don't respond when you shout.
Bartlet: Yeah, I think you'd respond if I stopped feeding you!

Leo: If the president's wearing a hat or that thing's wearing a Bartlet button, I'm hiding snakes in your car.
C.J.: C'mon, don't say that, not even to joke.
Leo: You're never gonna know where they are...
C.J.: Leo!
Leo: ...or if you got 'em all out. Excuse me. Gonna lay their eggs right in the glove compartment.

Bartlet: I'm on your side in this thing, but just barely, just by a little bit, because he's French and royal.
Charlie: Yes, sir.
Bartlet: These are very special, very limited circumstances under which we're allies, you and I.
Charlie: Understood, sir.

Leo: You only think you've heard everything, but you haven't.

Bartlet: You know the difference between you and me? I wanna be the guy, you wanna be the guy the guy counts on.

Josh: Don't listen to the naysayers, you've got a big future as a stalker.
Donna: I always felt like I had the makings.

Donna: Is it me, or is this getting harder?
Josh: It's getting harder.

Donna: So you've got health and strength.
Josh: And we'll steal the rest?
Donna: Bet your ass.

Donna: Can I tell you something? Josh has asked me to work Saturdays, work Sundays, and at least once a week he has me there after 1am. He's asked me to transpose portions of the federal budget into Base 8, go to North Dakota and dress as a German cocktail waitress. In five years of working for him he's never asked me to hide him from something.

Danny: Why are Democrats always so bumfuzzled?

C.J.: Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to cancel a photo op with a goat.

C.J.: I think it says, "Well, you're impoverished, and while we don't care, we don't want you to go away empty-handed, so we offer this goat, Ron, to give you milk.
Will: Do male goats give milk?
C.J.: No. No, of course they don't. So, we offer you this thing that'll just gnaw on your stuff.

Back to episode info