Quotes from The U.S. Poet Laureate


Bartlet: Why are you smiling?
Toby: Happiness is my default position.

Bartlet: I think we might be talking about a .22 caliber mind in a .357 Magnum world.

Josh: Why do you suppose this one's so hard to spin?
C.J.: Because it's the classic Washington scandal, we screwed up by telling the truth.

Josh: All right. Let's try not to do that that much.

Sam: By the way, my Princeton Tigers could whip your Cal Bears any day of the week.
C.J.: At what?
Sam: Logarithms, possibly.

Sam: We've got Ainsley Hayes.
Wachtell: That name sounds familiar.
Sam: She was associate White House Counsel, got promoted to Deputy Counsel, and she's just slightly to the right of the Kaiser.

Sam: Ginger, I need to see Ainsley.
Ginger: She's on vacation.
Sam: When's she coming back?
Ginger: Next week.
Sam: Mmmm... not so much, no.

Tabatha: Am I, uh, really weird right off the bat?
Toby: Do you want to be?
Tabatha: No.
Toby: Then you're not.
Tabatha: I think you're just being nice.
Toby: I think if you ask around you'll discover that's unlikely.

Tabatha: Nice office.
Toby: Exactly 63 feet from the Oval Office. If you don't think we measure, you're out of your mind.

Donna to Josh: I think you've gone round the bend.

C.J.: I'm assigning a intern from the press office to that web site. They're going to check it every night before they go home. If they discover you've been there I'm going to shove a motherboard so far up your ass... What?!
Josh: Well, technically I outrank you.
C.J.: So far up your ass!!!

C.J. to Bartlet: That was old school. Go knock 'em dead.


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