Quotes from Shibboleth
C.J.: Every time we come up on a holiday you guys check out like seniors who are done with finals.
Josh: Leo, do me a favor, would you? Don't tell the president we're just watching football. He'll want to invite us for dinner.
Leo: Why yes, I'm sure that upon hearing the news that you're free, the president of the United States will insist that you join him for dinner.
Josh: I'm just sayin', we've been working hard and we'd prefer to watch football rather than listen to a history of the yam in Latin.
Mrs. Landingham: How'd it go?
Charlie: I think I've got it this time.
Mrs. Landingham: I wouldn't get your hopes up, dear.
Charlie: No, this is a very good knife.
Mrs. Landingham: He's very particular.
Charlie: That's one word for it.
Mrs. Landingham: I heard that.
C.J.: In the following days we'll be meeting with the Reverend Al Caldwell, members of Beijing's embassy and INS agents. The president has asked Josh Lyman and Sam Seaborn to run these meetings, so it's entirely possible that by week's end we'll have alienated Christians, China and our own government.
Josh: Don't bring it up at the meeting.
Sam: It might slip out.
Josh: Shove it back in.
Sam: Okay.
Al: Good morning, Toby.
Toby: Good morning, Reverend.
Al: You look determined.
Toby: I am, sir.
Al: Good boy.
Leo: Hold up all the appointments you want. Shut down the government 'cause a teacher did as she was told. You'll have given us a second term and we won't even have to leave the building. But not because I'm right and you're wrong, though I am and you are, but just because I am better at this than you.
Donna: Did you go to elementary school?
C.J.: Yes, right before being a National Merit Scholar.
C.J.: Troy, I want you to know it was neck and neck, but I'm givin' it to Eric. You were in it right 'til the end but it's the flappin' thing you go going on. I'll tell you what's of some concern to me, that I've been talking to you out loud this whole time, that's very unsettling. Okay, Eric, here we go.
C.J.: Mr. President.
Bartlet: Yeah.
C.J.: We're all set.
Bartlet: What am I doing?
C.J.: Pardoning a turkey.
Bartlet: Okay.
C.J.: Mr. President, I can't, y'know, indefinitely with the turkey.
Bartlet: Yeah.
Josh: Excuse me, Mr. President, what are you going to ask the Chinese refugee?
Bartlet: I'm going to ask him to say Shibboleth.
Leo: I am trying to stage manage an undisciplined White House through what I would say was a difficult time except I haven't experienced an easy one yet.
Leo: Those kids aren't commendable, in this day and age those kids are phenomenal.
Bartlet: He's a chemistry professor.
Leo: Yeah?
Bartlet: There was awhile there I wanted to be a chemistry professor.
Leo: What happened?
Bartlet: I never actually studied chemistry.
Leo: A lot of these college chemistry departments are really demanding that way.
Bartlet: Yeah.
Jhin Wei: Faith is the true Shibboleth.
Bartlet: Yes it is. And you, sir, just said the magic word in more ways than one.
C.J.: Should I bring anything?
Toby: Yeah, do... do you know how to, y'know, cook food?
Mrs. Landingham: Sir, why don't you use the intercom?
Bartlet: 'Cause...
Mrs. Landingham: Because you don't know how to use the intercom.
Bartlet: I was standing at the door.
Mrs. Landingham: Maybe after the ceremony you can get one of the fourth graders to come and show you how to use the intercom.
Charlie: It says PR. I thought I knew 'em all but I don't recognize the manufacturer.
Bartlet: Yeah, these were made for my family by a Boston silver smith named Paul Revere.
C.J.: Mr. President.
Bartlet: Yes.
C.J.: Hi.
Bartlet: Hi.
C.J.: I'm sorry to ask you this, sir, but...
Bartlet: Not too late to stop yourself.
C.J.: I need you to pardon a turkey.
Bartlet: I already pardoned a turkey.
C.J.: I need you to pardon another one.
Bartlet: Didn't I do it right?
C.J.: You did it great, but I need you to come out here and pardon another one.
Bartlet: Aren't I going to get a reputation for being soft on turkeys?
C.J.: Sir, can you come out here and just get this over with?
Bartlet: No, I'm not going to just get this... What the hell's going on?
C.J.: They sent me two turkeys. The more photo-friendly of the two gets a presidential pardon and full life at a children's zoo, the runner-up gets eaten.
Bartlet: If the Oscars were like that I'd watch.
C.J.: Morton, this is President Bartlet.
Bartlet: Hey, Morton.
Morton: Wow.
Bartlet: Well said. Is that the turkey?
Donna: Yes.
Bartlet: You're pardoned.
C.J.: Sir?
Bartlet: What do you want?
C.J.: Well, y'know...
Bartlet: By the power vested in me by the Constitution of the United States I hereby pardon you.
Morton: Okay.
Bartlet: No, it's not okay.
C.J.: Sir...
Bartlet: Morton, I can't pardon a turkey. If you think I can pardon a turkey then you have got to go back to your school and insist that you be better prepared to go out in the world.
Donna: You can't pardon a turkey?
Bartlet: No. I'll tell you what I can do. I'm drafting this turkey into military service.
Bartlet: We can be the world's policemen, we can be the world's bank, the world's factory, the world's farm.... What does it mean if we're not also...? They made it to the new world, Josh. And you know what I get to do now? I get to proclaim the national day of Thanksgiving. This is a great job.
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