Quotes from The Midterms
C.J.: Psychics at Caltech and the Fermi National Accelerator Lab are close to announcing what...
Josh: Physicists! Theoretical physicists at Caltech.
C.J.: Not psychics?
Josh: No.
C.J.: I should jot that down.
Josh: Please.
C.J.: I'll tell ya, if it was psychics I'd lead with it.
Sam: C.J.
C.J.: Ah, holy interruptus, Batman.
C.J.: You know anything about theoretical physics?
Sam: Ah, the grand unified theory.
C.J.: You know anything about it?
Sam: No.
C.J.: Okay.
C.J.: As a special treat for our friend Josh Lyman, who is recovering very nicely at GW, the president's science advisor is telling us that psychics at Caltech and the Fermi National Accelerator Lab... y'know what? I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be "physicists."
Bartlet: Well, 19 percent of the country has clearly made up their minds about me, 20 percent just feels sorry for me. That's what you want if you're the leader of the free world.
Sarah: We were looking forward to a tour.
Sam: Ah, well, that's my office over there, and the president works in that round room over there, and nobody else really matters.
Sam: This is the mural room.
Sarah: Hmmm, can you tell us anything about it?
Sam: It's called the mural room.
Sam: Sarah, there's very little information about your husband that I don't have, and tell your mom happy birthday for me.
Toby: I could have used your support in there.
C.J.: You get my support the same way I get yours, when I agree with what you're saying or when I don't care about what you're saying. This time I disagree.
Bartlet: A man who makes the Spanish Inquisition look like a Barbara Walters special is now polling at 46 percent in your school district for which I have personally baked things to raise money. You can go too.
C.J.: You baked things?
Bartlet: You can go.
Sarah: Sam, anytime we have the opportunity in the future to screw you, count on getting screwed.
Bartlet: Toby, I'm drinking the most fantastic thing I've ever tasted in my life: chocolate syrup, cold milk and seltzer. I know it sounds terrible, but trust me, I don't know where this has been all my life.
Toby: It's called an egg-cream, Mr. President, we invented in Brooklyn.
Bartlet: In Brooklyn?
Toby: Yes, sir.
Bartlet: Not New England?
Toby: There are some good things in this world not from New England, sir.
Bartlet: Toby, don't ever let me hear you say that again.
Toby: Yes, sir.
Bartlet: There'll be crab puffs. New England crab puffs, by the way, made in New England.
Sam: Actually, it's Alaskan crab, sir.
Bartlet: There's Alaskan crab in this White House?
Toby: He would have known the difference.
Bartlet: Have you tried them?
Sam: I.... Yes, reluctantly. I think it was clear the way that I ate the crab puffs that it was a gesture of protest.
Bartlet: Were they good?
Sam: Extraordinarily good. They're going very fast, get there.
Bartlet: I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an "abomination!"
Jacobs: I don't say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President. The Bible does.
Bartlet: Yes it does. Leviticus!
Jacobs: 18:22.
Bartlet: Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here. I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My chief of staff, Leo McGarry, insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police? Here's one that's really important, because we've got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you? One last thing. While you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tight-Ass Club, in this building when the president stands, nobody sits.
Andrew Mackintosh: If they're shootin' at you, you know you're doing something right.
Charlie: Zoey and I are going out. I'll be on my pager.
Leo: You're going out?
Charlie: Yeah.
Leo: Charlie, you're taking extra protection. Right?
Charlie: Hey, Leo, I....
Leo: Secret Service protection, Charlie, but thanks for loading me up with that image.
Josh: We sit here, we drink this beer, out here on the stopp, in violation of about 47 city ordinances. C'mon, Toby, it's election night. What do you say about a government that goes out of its way to protect even citizens that try to destroy it?
Toby: God bless America.
Sam: God bless America.
C.J.: God bless America.
Donna: God bless America.
Josh: God bless America.
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