Quotes from 17 People

Bartlet: Now it starts.

Donna: You know, there are times...
Josh: Yeah?
Donna: ...when, to put it quite simply, I hate your breathing guts.
Josh: So, the flowers really did the trick, huh?

Sam: You know, something like forty percent of all women oppose the ERA, and in my entire life I've never met one of them.
Ainsley: Ainsley Hayes, nice to meet you.
Sam: You're not.
Ainsley: Yes.
Sam: You're not.
Ainsley: Yes.
Sam: You're not, you're not, you're not one of those people!
Ainsley: Sam, if by "those people" you're referring to Episcopalians...
Sam: You're going back to Smith College, the cradle of feminism, to argue in opposition to the Equal Rights Ammendment?
Ainsley: And get some decent pizza, yeah.
Sam: They're gonna hate you.
Ainsley: Sam, I'm a straight Republican from North Carolina. You don't think they hated me the first time around?
Sam: Yeah.

Josh: What are you doing?
Donna: I'm jotting down some go-tos in case a joke doesn't work. "I haven't seen an audience this dead since..." that kind of thing.
Josh: You think the president's gonna get heckled?
Donna: No, but I've read the speech and I think you'd be wise to have some dead audience metaphors in your pocket.

Sam: In a half hour, I want to make Toby laugh.

Josh: "I hear the Bloomberg party's gonna be hard to get into this year. But I'm not worried, I'm going to the party with the 82nd Airborne."
Donna: And then the president says, "Wow, I haven't heard a room this quiet since we lost the signal on Galileo."
Josh: Or, "Wow, I haven't seen my staff update their resumes this quickly since the last time I tanked at the correspondence dinner!"
Donna: Josh.
Josh: Yeah?
Donna: When you yell you make it harder for people to find the funny.

Toby: I wasn't in that situation room that night, but I'll bet all the money in my pockets against all the money in your pockets that it was Leo, who no one elected! For ninety minutes that night there was a coup d'etat in this country.
Bartlet: And the walls came tumbling down.

Bartlet: Your indignation would be a lot more interesting to me if it weren't quite so covered in crap.

Donna: This is his way. He's just gonna snark me every April. Prince of passive-aggressive behavior....
Sam: What does "snark" mean?
Donna: I don't know, but he's doing it.

Sam: They don't choose to make less money, they're financially punished for having kids.
Ainsley: They made a choice to have kids.
Sam: Well, not necessarily if you guys have your way, but that's a different can of tuna.

Leo: He hasn't broken a law.
Toby: Says you. You don't have to break the law to get served with article of impeachment.
Leo: Toby, it is never going to get that far.
Toby: Write down the exact date and time you said that.

Sam: I'm going to register with Republican party. And I'll tell you why, if you're curious. It's because they're a freedom-loving people.
Ainsley: We also like beef.

Ainsley: It's humiliating. A new ammendment we vote on declaring that I am equal under the law to a man. I am mortified to discover there is reason to believe I wasn't before. I am a citizen of this country, I am not a special subset in need of your protection. I do not have to have my rights handed down to me by a bunch of old white men. The same article fourteen that protects you protects me and I went to law school just to make sure. And with that, I'm going back down to the mess, because I thought I may have seen there, a peach.
Sam: I could have countered that, but I'd already moved onto other things in my head.

Josh: I'm just saying, if you were in an accident, I wouldn't stop for a beer.
Donna: If you were in an accident, I wouldn't stop for red lights.

Bartlet: I didn't know enough.
Toby: I know the feeling.
Bartlet: I have no intention of apologizing to you, Toby.
Toby: Would you mind if I ask why not?
Bartlet: Because you're not the one with MS, a wife, three kids, and airports to close. Not every part of me belongs to you. This is personal. I'm not willing to relinquish that right.

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