Quotes from The Stackhouse Filibuster

C.J.: I'm all for bi-partisanship as long as we get the credit.

Mark: C.J., it's Friday night, I'm supposed to have dinner with my girlfriend. She's gonna kill me.
C.J.: Yeah, but you know what, Mark? This is just the kind of thing that can cleanse the palate of a relationship that's gone stale, like a fine sorbet
Mark: It's been going on for three weeks.
C.J.: And she's already bitching about dinner?
Mark: C.J....
C.J.: Lose her.

Sam: You don't want to stay in school and get your education?
Josh: Nah, I'm white, nobody's gonna mind.

Leo: You just spent six billion dollars on health care. How do you feel?
Josh: I'd feel better if it meant just once I could go to a doctor without filling out something on a clipboard.

Charlie: Hassan Ali is coming here at the end of the week.
C.J.: He's got thirty-eight wives.
Charlie: Yeah.
C.J.: Imagine being the girl he dated that he didn't marry.

Carol: What do you need?
C.J.: Some information, possibly a disguise and a fast getaway car.

Toby: Would you mind if I prepared some notes for you?
Hoynes: Heh heh. Oh, not at all. Would you mind if I shoved them up your ass?

Sam: Winnie! Yeah, I said it. Listen, you're talented. When you get out of school you should come see me for a job.
Winifred: I supposed you're not a complete loser, and you write very well, so when I get out of school, come see me for a job.

Bartlet: Could Howard Stackhouse possibly be a bigger horse's patoot?
Leo: I don't what part of the horse that is, exactly, but I've always thought he was a decent guy.
Bartlet: He's a curmudgeon, a grouchy old crank.
Leo: So are we.
Bartlet: You are. I am full of mirth.
Leo: Okay.

Bartlet: They thought I was going to be eating with Abbey, so...
Leo: I know.
Bartlet: We'll just, y'know, pretend there's no candlelight.
Leo: And that we're not paranoid homophobes in any way.
Bartlet: Yeah.

Bartlet: Leo, you have a deputy who's, frankly, a lot smarter than you are. Whatever it is, let him handle it. Who are you talking to?
Leo: My deputy.

Bartlet: I want to call senators. We'll start with our friends. When we're done with those two, we'll go on to the other ninety-eight.

Toby: What do you know that I don't?
Hoynes: Toby, the total tonnage of what I know that you don't could stun a team of oxen in its tracks.

Bartlet: Trust me just this once, you grouchy old son of a bitch.

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