Quotes from Somebody's Going to Emergency, Somebody's Going to Jail

Leo to Sam: I think you're putting too much faith in the magical powers of a new shirt.

Leo: All right, shut the hell up everybody! I fired more people than you before breakfast!

Toby: In my day we knew how to protest.
C.J.: What day was that?
Toby: 1968.
Josh: How old were you when you were protesting?
Toby: My sisters took me. Anyone have a problem with that?

C.J.: No cameras.
Toby: You negotiated that?
C.J.: Yeah.
Toby: They agreed to it?
C.J.: You want to make out with me right now, don't you?
Toby: Well, when don't I?

Toby: You fully trained?
Rhonda: Yes.
Toby: How many different ways do you know to kill a man?
Rhonda: How many do I need?
Toby: I like you.

Josh: You wanna have a lot of fun? Seriously, sit in on C.J.'s meeting with the Organization of Cartographers for Social Equality.
Sam: Where's the social inequality in cartography?
Josh: I don't know, that's why I'm going.

Toby: Fire your gun.
Rhonda: I can't fire a warning shot indoors.
Toby: No, I mean, fire at them. Just kidding.

Dr. Fallow: We'd like President Bartlet to aggressively support legislation that would make it mandatory for every public shcool in America to teach geography using the Peters projection map instead of the traditional Mercator.
Josh: Give me two-hundred bucks and it's done.
Prof. Huke: Really?
C.J.: No.

Toby: They claim to speak for the underprivileged, but here in the blackest city in America I'm looking at a room with no black faces, no Asians and no Hispanics. Where the hell is the third world they claim to represent?
Rhonda: A lot of third-worlders in the cabinet room today, were there?
Toby: You're starting to annoy me.
Rhonda: That's 'cause I'm armed.
Toby: No, I like that.

Josh: These guys find Brigadoon on that map, you'll call me, right?
C.J.: Probably not.
Josh: Okay.

C.J.: You can't do that.
Dr. Fallow: Why not.
C.J.: 'Cause it's freakin' me out.

Toby: I hate these people with the heat of a nova, yet here I go.
Rhonda: 'Atta boy.
Toby: Shut up.
Rhonda: I got your back, man, y'know? Or not.

Josh: I almost got killed.
Sam: How?
Josh: I got hit with a piece of a banana.

Josh: That was the second time this year I almost got killed and both times I was with you so you're gonna need a new wing man.
Toby: You were my old wing man?
Josh: Yeah.
Toby: Let's go.
Donna: Where are you going?
Josh: Toby and I are going to get Sam drunk and then put him to bed.
Donna: I'll come.

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