Quotes from In the Shadow of Two Gunmen 1
Bartlet: This guy's got about seven broken bones in his hand, by the way, if someone wants to give him an aspirin or something.
Nurse: I need to ask you some questions. Do you have any medical conditions?
Bartlet: Well, I've been shot.
Zoey: Are you in a lot of pain?
Bartlet: No.
Zoey: Are you lying?
Bartlet: Yeah, 'cause I want these guys to tell reporters that I was brave and joking around.
Zoey: Mom's on her way.
Bartlet: Mom's gonna be pretty pissed.
Zoey: Yeah.
Zoey: I'll go wait for mom.
Bartlet: Tell her not to frighten the doctors.
Zoey: Dad's making jokes.
Abbey: Good ones?
Zoey: No.
Abbey: There are fourteen people in the world who know this, including the vice-president, the chief of staff and the chairman of the joint chiefs. You're going to be the fifteenth. Seven years ago my husband was diagnosed with a relapsing remitting course of MS. When all this is over, tell the press, don't tell the press, it's entirely up to you.
Josh: Running for president of the United States without putting social security front and center is like running for president of the Walt Disney Corporation by saying you're gonna fix the rides at Epcot.
Josh: I don't know what we're for, I don't know what we're against, except we seem to be for winning and against somebody else winning.
Leo: Come to Nashua Thursday.
Josh: Why?
Leo: Because that's what sons do for old friends of their father's.
Josh: The Democrats aren't gonna nominate another liberal academic former-Governor from New England. I mean, we're dumb, but we're not that dumb.
Leo: Nah, I think we're exactly that dumb.
Sam: Hoynes. He's not the real thing, is he?
Josh: If I see the real thing in Nashua, should I tell you about it?
Sam: You won't have to.
Josh: Why?
Sam: You've got a pretty bad poker face.
Toby: Josh was hit.
Donna: Hit with what?
Reporter: Can you tell us why the AP knows more than you do?
C.J.: I don't believe they do know more than I do, I just believe they're willing to tell you more than I am.
Nancy: It gets more complicated if you've read section 202 of the national security act of 1947.
C.J.: Let's assume I haven't.
Nancy: It says that the secretary of defense will be the principal assistant to the president on all matters relating to the national security.
C.J.: What does "principal assistant" mean?
Nancy: It doesn't specify.
Toby: No, it wouldn't, because this is an area of federal law where you'd want as much ambiguity as possible.
Bartlet: Thanks very much, everybody, hope you enjoyed the chicken.
Leo: I'm tired of it. Year after year after year after year of having to choose between the lesser of Who Cares, of trying to get myself excited about a candidate who can speak in complete sentences, of setting the bar so low I can hardly look at it. They say a good man can't get elected president. I don't believe that. Do you?
Bartlet: You think I'm that man.
Leo: Yes.
Bartlet: Doesn't it matter that I'm not as sure.
Leo: Ah, act as if ye have faith and faith shall be given to you. Put it another way, fake it 'til you make it.
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