Quotes from Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics
Josh: It's 7:05?
Donna: Yeah.
Josh: That's ridiculous.
Donna: I'm not making it up.
Josh: My watch says ten to seven.
Donna: That's 'cause your watch sucks.
Josh: My watch is fine.
Donna: Your watch says ten to seven.
Josh: How do I know it isn't ten to seven?
Donna: Because those large clocks on the wall that are run by the US Navy say your watch sucks. In fact, they say your watch sucks in four different time zones.
Toby: Since when are you an expert in language?
C.J.: In polling models?
Toby: Okay.
C.J.: 1993. Since when are you an uptight pain in the ass?
Toby: Since long before that.
Leo: The president thinks we're going to hold steady.
C.J.: The president is wrong.
Leo: You think?
C.J.: Yes.
Leo: Let's find out.
Barry: I gave those quotes on the condition of anonymity.
Leo: I know how you feel. I went to drug rehab on the condition of anonymity, maybe you read about it in the papers.
Sam: You know what's fun?
Bonnie: What?
Sam: The Potomac in the morning.
Bonnie: Yeah?
Sam: Jogging around the Potomac, or skulling.
Ginger: Were you jogging this morning?
Sam: No.
Bonnie: Were you skulling?
Sam: No, I was sitting on a bench having a bagel, but from where I was both jogging and skulling looked good to me.
Bartlet: I like this, 'cause if everybody keeps moving up one, then I get to go home.
Kenny for Joey: It's almost hard to believe you're not married.
Josh: Oh ho, many have tried.
Sam: I'm drafting a letter of resignation.
Toby: Well, you're not gonna give it to him, Sam, 'cause that would deny me the pleasure of throwing you out through a plate glass window.
Bartlet: It's nice when you can do something for prostitutes once in awhile, isn't it.
Cochran: I think it would be appropriate at this time, Mr. President, to make a confession.
Bartlet: What's that?
Cochran: I never voted for you.
Bartlet: Well, thanks for trying, but here I am anyway.
Bartlet: We agree on nothing, Max.
Lobell: Yes, sir.
Bartlet: Education, guns, drugs, school prayer, gays, defense spending, taxes... you name it, we disagree.
Lobell: You know why?
Bartlet: 'Cause I'm a lily-livered bleeding-heart liberal egg-head communist.
Lobell: Yes, sir. And I'm a gun-totin' red-neck son of a bitch.
Bartlet: Yes, you are.
Lobell: We agree on that.
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